A Heart Full of Love

The long dark night of the soul is over.

I finally felt it, the realization, the moment, the epiphany, the spark of change in my heart and soul.

Acceptance of what I am. What I feel. No longer disdaining feeling others, but compassion for all. Even John Paul, Therese, Marian, my sister's rapists, my brother's rapists, Cristos, and so many more.

Just because someone isn't good for me to or to me doesn't mean I wish them ill. I don't believe in striking back at threats. I know people will throw me under the bus if they get the chance. That's who they are. I will watch for it, too, now. But that's not me. It's not who I am.

I am not a whore. I am called to be more than all of this.

I am love and light, and nothing and no one will ever darken my flame again.

réponds à ma tendresse

You are my muse. A dark muse. Inspiration to light, catapulting me from your dark. I love everything about you. Even your pain and hurt and anger. It no longer hurts me. It just passes over me. I feel for you more than anything. What an existence you are cursed with, my darling. My love. You are passed over, far from me. Never to touch me in this moment or the next. You and I cannot co-exist. We don't work because I can't abide someone who is fake as much as you can't. You lie with so many breaths. You lie with none at all. You hide your true self from all except me in bare moments. I try to lay your soul bare to grant you freedom, but you despise me for the insult and threat to your ego. It is as it must be. You can't be with me. We were beautiful and aflame once. We shouldn't have found each other so young. We burned too fast and too hot, more than we should have. We were young. It wasn't our fault. It's just what happened. I will always care and always want you.


But what I want isn't what's right for either of us. I love you more than a selfish want for a moment or a day or a lifetime. I love you and want you to be happy above all else.